Fare thee well 32 candles, hello Bean!

Howdy all!

This blog has been neglected, and has fizzled into the past.

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http://beaninmyside.blogspot.com/

i'm a true romantic

Amy Ray. True Romantic.

A Good Woman

"A good woman will pick you apart
A box full of suggestions for your possible heart
But you may be offended and you may be afraid
But don’t walk away, don’t walk away"
-Bright Eyes

Integrity over Desire

Manhole
(Ani DiFranco)

Im holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
Like love's mementos usually do
And I look up to see who's different here
The latest me or the latest you

Course, you're the kind of guy who doesn't lie
He just doctors everything
Chooses some unassuming finger
And quietly moves his wedding ring
Who rewrites his autobiography
For any pretty girl who'll sing
But you can't fool the queen, baby
Cuz I married the king

And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering

I kissed you on the street that night
On the far side of four
But I didn't like the taste
In my mouth or yours
And ignoring the persona you wore for my benefit
For once I had the balls to call it
Just call it
But a lesson must be lived
In order to be learned
And the clarity to see and stop this now
That is what I've earned

And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering

I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
And heartache not so dire
Cuz I looked up to see integrity
Finally won over desire

*cherish*

"Today a new sun rises for me;
everything lives, everything is animated,
everything seems to speak to me of my passion,
everything invites me to cherish it."

-Anne De Lenclos

*why i'm in love with life*

*i felt the baby move for 20 minutes straight last night. i sang to her. i talked to her. and she moved. and moved. and moved.*

*i'm sitting in a coffee shop, down the street from my new home. drinking black coffee, making mixes for good people, and realizing how good spring break is.*

*i woke up and did yoga for 45 minutes. windows were open and birds were chirping.*

*i live with two very driven, centered women who have embraced my being with warmth and support. one loves to cook, the other loves to hike with dogs. i'm totally in love with home.*

*i'm fully realizing how much i needed change and fully feeling how good change is when it's right.*

*my cd is in the process of being mastered, and i've come to a genuine place of appreciation for what i've created.*

*as i'm writing this, a dear co-worker walked into the coffee shop and just gave me the biggest "welcome to the neighborhood" hug. i really feel a sense of being EXACTLY where i need to be.

*i sat beside a friend's daughter yesterday and she kissed my shoulder and arms repeatedly, only to hear 2 hours later that she doesn't do that with many people. i felt love, in its more pure, unaffected form.*

*i had my stitches removed. FINALLY! have a mini-crush on the dr. who did the magic.*

*my theater project is getting some footing, and that's promising.*

*dear co-worker from above (who just gave me a hug) surprised me-came back with pizza from stone oven and we just spent the last hour talking about music.*

*i slept in my own bed last night (haven't for 5 months) and woke up staring at the space i have defined as my own. i love what i saw.*

*Moving*

I am moving.

I am moving.

I am moving.

I am exactly where I need to be.