fuck and run

"And I can feel it in my bones
I'm gonna spend another year alone
It's fuck and run, fuck and run
Even when I was seventeen
Fuck and run, fuck and run
Even when I was twelve"
-Liz Phair

I realized last night in a conversation over a Delaney sandwich that I am (in ways I'm just beginning to understand) a runner.

In fact, I was nicknamed Nike by someone I "nike-eed" on before we even dated.

Yes. I run.

I'm not sure why this is. For the most part I see myself as a very committed, very passionate individual. I was in a relationship for almost 8 years with the same person, and didn't run...though I felt the urge many times to do so. In truth, I should have ran but hated the idea of "giving up."

The sad thing is that when I have ran and what I have ran from are often things and people that are extremely valuable to me.

Who Nike's on someone they haven't even met?

That's right...little ol' me.

I want to understand this.

I want to work on it.

I don't want to run.

I want to stick around.